Rewrite bank

Before-and-after pairs for each retired pattern. Use them as models, not fixed wording: the best rewrite for a line depends on the sentences around it. Add new pairs whenever a good rewrite turns up.

1. Fragment with a tag

Before	After
Four layers, built in order.	The authority stack has four layers, and each one rests on the layer beneath it.
A rhythm your team can hold: long pieces on your own site, the same argument on social in a founder's voice, and nurture that keeps you present between conversations.	Publishing compounds when your team can sustain it, which in practice means a long piece on your own site, the same argument on social in a founder's voice, and nurture email that keeps you present between conversations.
The claim only you can make, drawn from your closed deals rather than from what already ranks.	Position is the claim only you can make, and it comes from your closed deals instead of from what already ranks.
The evidence that makes the position believable: named sources, customer situations, worked examples and numbers somebody else can check.	The position becomes believable through evidence such as named sources, customer situations, worked examples and numbers somebody else can check.
Customer stories told as a problem somebody had and what changed, rather than a testimonial nobody believes	Customer stories describe a problem somebody had and what changed, instead of offering a testimonial nobody believes
Working with a B2B content agency builds authority in the field you sell into: a clear point of view, published consistently, backed by evidence, and written to be quoted.	Working with a B2B content agency builds authority in the field you sell into, through a clear point of view that is published consistently, backed by evidence and written to be quoted.

2. The "so" splice

Before	After
Founder and company social, plus nurture email, so you stay familiar through the months when nobody is ready to buy	Founder and company social, together with nurture email, keeps you familiar through the months when nobody is ready to buy.
One-pagers, decks and follow-ups drawn from the same argument, so a conversation picks up where the reading stopped	When one-pagers, decks and follow-ups draw on the same argument, a conversation picks up where the buyer's reading stopped.
Definition and comparison pages that explain the category properly, so the first thing a buyer reads about this decision is yours	Definition and comparison pages that explain the category properly make yours the first thing a buyer reads about the decision.
Products get copied and pricing gets matched, so the advantage that lasts is being the company people think of first.	Because products get copied and pricing gets matched, the advantage that lasts is being the company people think of first.
Fewer accounts, deeper work. A shorter list worked properly beats a long one worked lightly, so we would rather cut an account than spread the effort thin.	A shorter list worked properly beats a long one worked lightly, and we would sooner cut an account than spread the effort thin.
Signals set the timing. We reach out when there is a reason to, and the calendar decides very little, so an account hears from you when it is most likely to listen.	We reach out when an account gives us a reason to, which means it hears from you when it is most likely to listen.
The steady nurture that keeps you present between conversations, so that the next one opens warmer than the last one closed.	Steady nurture keeps you present between conversations and lets the next one open warmer than the last one closed.
Account-based advertising: LinkedIn and display campaigns aimed at the named accounts and roles on your list, so the buying group keeps seeing you between conversations.	Account-based advertising puts LinkedIn and display campaigns in front of the named accounts and roles on your list, and the buying group keeps seeing you between conversations.

3. "Worth" and its relatives

Before	After
People decide what's worth saying, who it goes to, and when.	People decide what to say, who to say it to and when.
An account-based marketing agency chooses the companies worth winning.	An account-based marketing agency chooses the companies that fit your offer and have the budget and need to buy it.
Which bets are worth making, which offers lead, and what a realistic target looks like.	Which bets to make, which offers lead, and what a realistic target looks like.
The part worth internalising is that buyers are no longer starting from a blank page.	Buyers no longer start from a blank page, and that changes what content is for.
Is intent data worth paying for?	Does intent data pay for itself?
Either way, it's worth a conversation.	Either way, a conversation will show you quickly which version fits.
It is worth being precise about what is wrong with the older approach.	The older approach has a precise flaw, and it is not that it starts too late.

4. "Long before" and "long after"

Before	After
Your market knows what you stand for long before it speaks to your sales team.	Your market knows what you stand for months before anyone books a call.
The earliest research happens long before anyone fills in a form.	The earliest research happens months before anyone fills in a form.
The early rungs tell us whether the program is working long before a deal closes.	The early rungs tell us within weeks whether the program is working, well ahead of any closed deal.
A systems problem long before it is a writing problem.	A systems problem first and a writing problem second.
Who decide, long before then, which names they trust.	Who are already deciding which names they trust.

5. The "none of it" closer

Before	After
None of that makes the decision less human.	The decision is still made by people, each with their own worries and their own career at stake.
None of that removes the need for outbound.	Outbound still has a job to do, which is to start the conversations that early signals have prepared.
If none of those quite fits, a discovery call is still the fastest way to find out.	If your situation sits between those three, a discovery call is the fastest way to find out which applies.

6. The sentence that announces its point

Before	After
Most of what gets called content marketing is production: a calendar, a word count and a quota. The part that compounds is deciding what you are willing to say that your competitors are not, then saying it often enough, and in enough places, that a buyer arrives already knowing it.	Content marketing too often becomes production, run to a calendar, a word count and a quota. Content compounds when a company decides what it is willing to say that its competitors are not, and then says it often enough, and in enough places, that a buyer arrives already knowing it.
The first job is deciding what you think, which is a positioning question before it is a writing one.	Deciding what you think comes first, and that is a positioning question before it is a writing one.
The point of all of it is to make you the source your market trusts on one subject.	All of it makes you the source your market trusts on one subject.
Most of what gets called "growth" is really just more spend on more channels.	"Growth" too often turns out to be more spend on more channels.
What the whole engine is built for: qualified conversations your team can take forward.	The whole engine is built to produce qualified conversations your team can take forward.
The trap is that the same tools serve both, since a model can research a company in four seconds.	The same tools serve both, since a model can research a company in four seconds.
The difference is whether they have a considered line.	Candidates differ in whether they have a considered line.
The practical consequence is an order of operations that most B2B marketing runs backward.	As a result, most B2B marketing runs its order of operations backward.
That is not a moral position, it is an arithmetic one.	That position is arithmetic more than morality.

Whole-paragraph example

Before (written in the style being retired):

Three layers, built in order. Positioning first, then proof, then publishing, so each piece has a job. None of it works without a clear point of view.

After:

The work has three layers, starting with positioning because every later piece repeats it. Proof comes next, in the form of named sources and customer situations a buyer can check, and publishing follows once the argument and its evidence are settled. Without a clear point of view the later layers have nothing to carry, which is why the position is agreed before anything is written.

A note on repairs that create new tells

The "after" column should not repeat one construction. If three consecutive rewrites all end in ", which means", change two of them to an effect verb or a condition-first sentence.